With only 2 days until the 2019-2020 season kicks off, what better way to get ready than by ranking the 5 best and worst franchises of the decade. For some teams, it has been a wonderful decade. Super Bowl wins, 10 win seasons, MVP Awards, Pro Bowlers, some teams have seen and celebrated it all. Some teams on the other hand, have been fucking miserable for the last 10 years. Some teams have butt fumbles, some teams have 0-16 seasons, and some teams did not make the playoffs for the entire decade.
Thank fucking god for fantasy football for some of the poor schmucks out there. If not for that, there would be no reason to watch football for at least half of us idiots. Gambling is a huge help too for guys who like shitty teams. Betting on a line or an O/U gets you fully invested in that game and now you are rooting for something other than for your team’s season to end. Welp, let’s get started.
5 Best Franchises
1-New England Patriots-Who the fuck else would be here at number 1?! The Pats have appeared in 5 Super Bowls this decade, winning 3 of those 5. Nobody else has more than 1 Super Bowl win in the 2010s. To go along with that, they are almost 20 games ahead of the second best team during the regular season. The Pats have a regular season record of 113-31, while the second place Steelers sit at 94-49-1. That is just fucking insane! What is even crazier to me is that this team has not played on Wild Card Weekend this entire fucking decade. They have made the playoffs every single year, and been a top 2 seed in the AFC, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING YEAR! That is fuckin bananas! This was an easy choice, but still, FUCK YOU TOM BRADY, BELICHICK, AND ALL OF PATS NATION!
2-Seattle Seahawks-The Seahawks started this decade by winning their division at 7-9. They even got a home game because they were division winners. They completely shocked the world when they beat the Saints and Marshawn had his legendary ‘Hold Ma Dick’ run to seal the game. Since then the Seahawks have really been the class of the NFC, appearing in 2 Super Bowls, winning 1 of them. They have compiled a record of 89-54-1, and led by Russell Wilson and Pete Carroll they have made the playoffs 7 of 9 years. These 2 have done nothing but win since they joined up and they look to continue that into the last season of the decade.
3-Green Bay Packers-This decade started with their third season of Aaron Rodgers at the helm, and I am sure they could not be happier. The Packers won the first Super Bowl of the decade and have been one of the best teams in the league every year since then. That would be the only Super Bowl the Packers have won this decade, but Rodgers has given them plenty to watch over the last 9 seasons. He has won 2 MVPs, been to 6 pro bowls and has set a few records along the way. He also led the Packers to a 89-53-2 record in the 2010s, good for 3rd best during that span. With a new coach, Rodgers is looking to bookend this decade with Super Bowls.
4-Pittsburgh Steelers-The Steelers are the first team without a Super Bowl to be on this list. They lost to the Packers in that 2010 Super Bowl and have not been back since. Led by the Killer Bs (as in Bitches) they have been to the playoffs 6 times and they have the second best regular season record during this span at 94-49-1. Tomlin, Ben, Bell, and Brown had the talent to do it, but they could never put it all together to win the big game. They look to start fresh at end of this decade without Bell or Brown.
5-Denver Broncos-You wouldn’t be able to tell by last year, or their expectations for this year, but the Broncos put together one of the best offenses the league has ever seen. They had Peyton, Demaryius Thomas, Julius Thomas, and they scored a SHIT TON of fucking points. They reached 2 super bowls, getting blown the fuck out by Seattle in the first one. The second time around, 2 years later, the defense shut down Cam Newton’s bitchass en route to their only Super Bowl win of the decade. Their record over the last 9 years is 82-62, and they reached the playoffs 5 times over that span.
5 Worst Franchises
5-New York Jets-The Jets made back to back AFC Championship games in 2009 and 2010, but since that second appearance this franchise has been nothing but a fucking circus. You have the butt fumble, fucking up every single draft pick, completely misevaluating talent. The list goes on and fucking on. The Jets finally got something right last year in picking Sam Darnold, so they may have a bright future, but what’s done is done, and the Jets will not soon forget the taste of their 61-83 record over the last 9 years.
4-Washington Redskins-Washington has been embarrassing over the last 9 years winning only 59 games with 2 playoff appearances to show for it. Their only playoff appearances are at the hand of first year starters, RG3 and Kirk Cousins. RG3 obviously did not last and he is a 3rd stringer somewhere catchin a whole lot of fuckin bench. Cousins bolted for Minnesota because Washington did not want to pay him. Dan Snyder has really ran this team into the ground with his unwillingness to spend top dollar on the top players. They got their guy in Haskins this year, but he will probably bounce too when his rookie deal is up.
3-Jacksonville Jaguars-The Jags easily could have avoided this list had they realized Blake Bortles fucking blows at playing QB. The Jags coaching staff and front office were the only ones who thought this guy could play, but he fuckin sucked. They finally realized right before the last season of the decade, but it was not in time to prevent them from only winning 45 fucking games over 9 years. Big Dick Nick will try to get them off this list in his first year starting there. The only thing keeping them out of the bottom 2 is an AFC Championship game appearance in 2017.
2-Tampa Bay Buccaneers-The Bucs are one of two teams to not make the playoffs for the entirety of the fucking decade! 9 Fucking years without a playoff appearance (their last was actually in 07) has got to fucking hurt! They got who they thought was their guy in Jameis, but he hasn’t done shit and he is probably standing on his last legs with them right now. They have plenty of talent which makes it even worse that they can’t string any fuckin wins together.
1-Cleveland Browns-The only team that could fill the bottom of this list is the Cleveland Browns! The Browns in 2017 were the 5th team to have a winless season and only the 2nd team to go 0-16. They have won a grand total of…36 games in the last 9 years. It does not matter what they might do this year, what matters is that they only won 36 games in the last 9 fucking years! THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PATHETIC! What is even more pathetic is that Hue Jackson lasted 3 fucking seasons! He was 3-36-1 and they let him coach for 3 fucking seasons! HE WENT 0-16 AND THEY DIDN’T FUCKING FIRE HIM! THE BEARS FIRED LOVIE SMITH AFTER GOING 10-6! BUT THE BROWNS KEPT THIS FUCKING IDIOT AFTER GOING 0-16. This may go down as the worst decade for any franchise EVER! That’s how bad they were over the last 9 years. Jesus fucking Christ what a goddamn joke!